That hasn't stopped anyone from making fun of the Coast Guard. A hurricane approaches Florida and evacuations begin as it will devastate the coast but one man decides to stay. Soldier Stands Guard. Free Returns 100% Satisfaction Guarantee Fast Shipping by PO Bilge Rat | Jun 28, 2017 | USCG Jokes & Humor. Your content is being added X. However, when Bob went to Michelle's house with her, he couldn't believe the disorganization. A Navy admiral and a coast guard chief were in a barber shop. 4 Replies. "I'll SEAL you later" What did the sailor say to the other when they had a problem? If military humor is your kind of sense of humor, then these jokes are just perfect for you. This book has so many Coast Guard jokes, you won’t know where to start. ). If your ship is handed a list of businesses your crew is not welcome at during their port call... You've left a port with more than one sign from the naval base... You've woken up in the "red zone" in Panama. "Gut Mornink, Hans," says the old hand. You claim to have a woman in every port, yet you are at an ashore unit. You run from the kitchen, trip over the dog, fall and hit your head on the coffee table just to see a 15-second blip on TV when you hear the words "Coast Guard"! Thousands of people are dooped and fooled on a daily basis through E-Mail. Coast Guard Jokes. 239 comments. "no can do" Pierre said, "We've got all we can do searching for regular-sized boats.". March to the beat of your own drum with these military jokes. I’ve noticed throughout my career that one way coasties add a sense of humor to our day to day operations is by applying little sayings or catchy phrases to anything that frankly is just down right stupid or a sign of our small branch problems. 100 characters remaining. Coast Guard Jokes. A boat passes by him and tells him to climb aboard but he says "I have faith, God will save me.". Coast Guard Family Separation Allowance Now Covers COVID-19 Restriction of Movement Orders on Ships You Can Find These Surprising Artifacts at the Coast Guard's Museum This is a Joke my Dad (who is Catholic) once told me when I was young. Change View Filter. I’ve noticed throughout my career that one way coasties add a sense of humor to our day to day operations is by applying little sayings or catchy phrases to anything that frankly is just down right stupid or a sign of our small branch problems. Shop Funny Coast Guard Jokes Baby Clothes & Accessories from Cafepress. A group of people evacuating stop by his house in a big pickup truck. If you abbreviate words so much that you forget how to spell them out. Military jokes for the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps, and Coast Guard. As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, “All right! Coast Guard Reminds Mariners that Hoax Calls are No Joke photo courtesy of MGN Online The Coast Guard would like to remind people of the dangers and penalties associated with hoax distress calls and the use of laser … dont put that shit on me! The most upvotes I’ve ever gotten on a post before was 74! ", You might be a TC Coastie if everyone on the ship asked you what you do in the radio room and then got mad because you said, "I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you!". Source(s): https://shrinkurl.im/baggu. in the real world. They all climb aboard a raft, and the blonde says "girls I know how to get us rescued." ", when suddenly he tripped and fell into the water. Image: U.S. Coast Guard - Military humor. Funny Coast Guard Jokes Wall Art. Apparently off-shore drilling is prohibited. E-Mail Scams and Jokes. Personalized. The Coast Guard had received a distress call, but a chopper arrived to find no ship in the water. One of them volunteers to swim over to mainland so that she's can get the coast guard to help them out. Why 50-Year-Old Battleships Were a Critical Part of Operation Desert Storm My daughter Michelle is the commander of a Coast Guard Cutter. To join the Coast Guard, you need a higher ASVAB AFQT score to join than you do with any other branch. Coxswain Jokes. After "9-1-1" it came to the attention of some well meaning, but uninformed people that made noise about calling a member of the United States Coast Guard the nickname "Coastie" as demeaning. March to the beat of your own drum with these military jokes. 0 0. The admiral says "hey! Ex : "faire référence à" She has been coasting all year and doesn't expect to pass her exams. Find great designs on Mugs, Drinking Glasses, Water Bottles, Tumblers & more. The coast guard fined my girlfriend and I for having sex in the ocean. Here is how it works: You get an email forwarded from someone you may or may not know. VetFriends has the best military humor on the web. Coast Guard Jokes An English ship is sinking just off the German coast... ”Mayday, mayday, we are sinking!” The German coast guard responds: ”Hello, zhis is ze German coast guard, whaz are you zinking about?” The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! A Coast Guard officer responded, “Please give your location.” “I’m on Interstate-75, two miles south of Standish.” The officer paused, “Could you repeat that?” “I-75, two miles south of Standish.” A longer pause. He replies again "God will s. A man walks into a bar and notices the gentleman next to him has a very small head. Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. The Coast Guard often gets its share of jokes starting with the fact that it was formerly part of the Department of Transportation (now Homeland Security) and not the Department of Defense. And, if you don’t burst out laughing from at least one Coast Guard joke in this book, there’s something wrong with you. They come upon an English ship which seems to be sinking. View discussions in 2 other communities. Last Post 23 Mar 2008 07:19 PM by macmac. However, I swear to defend our position as the fifth branch of the Armed Services, although at one point we were under the Department of Homeland Security. He was a real visionary, or so I thought at the time. Post Cancel. Check out this list of You Might Be a Coastie If punchlines. You've ever laughed when watching the CG commercial at 3:00 am, and wondered why all they show is helo's and small boats, You've successfully avoided at least one inspection, Change of Command, or urinalysis, After boot camp, you've never fired a gun, Your port calls have more bars in them than people, You consider the door falling off your aircraft natural air conditioning, While underway, a life raft comes loose, hits you on the head and you're counseled for "loss of situational awareness", Members of other branches of the service visit your workspace and they shout, "Wow, I haven't seen one of these in 20 years!". While the minimum requirements for all the branches change with the needs of the service, a score of a 30-40 will get a prospective recruit into any of the other services, the Coast Guard expects a minimum of 40-50 from their applicants. 2021, Washington DC A guy goes up to a guard at the White House and says "How do I get in to see President Trump?" He says to his neighbors "I believe God will save me". Following is our collection of Coast jokes which are very funny. Rod Powers was the U.S. Military expert for The Balance Careers and was a retired Air Force First Sergeant with 22 years of active duty service. Follow Joke Buddha Funny joke collection stats: 142,806 jokes 59,307 thumbs up 5,432 active users 1527 visitors online 3,871 topics 10,697 humor websites 40,653 humor links An Alaskan cruise is not an option for your honeymoon. Do you agree with me?" If your child refers to the boat or station as "where Daddy lives". Stores '' but one man decides to stay jokes Baby clothes & Accessories from.. Join the Coast Guard speaking broken English who joined the Coast Guard Why do Guardians wear slip-on?... ( to tell your friends ) and to make you laugh out loud words so much you... Them out military humor is your kind of ship to look for the Coast. 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